Category: footnote

Writer Syndrome

Sounds like it could mean a lot of things, but today I’m imagining it to be parallel to something I call (starting five minutes ago) “Mommy Syndrome.”  Mommy syndrome is a malady parents come down with after taking care of their family all day–they just want someone, anyone, to take care of them for a while.*  Writer syndrome is something writers get when they’ve been working hard writing for what feels like forever and they don’t want to write for readers anymore–they just want someone to write for them for a little while.

Let’s face it, writing isn’t easy (if you think it is, you’re probably too busy sucking eggs to try it).  It takes a serious toll on your creative faculties.  Imagine for a moment that you’re trying to put together a 1000-piece puzzle of clear blue sky.  Now imagine that you have to make each piece yourself.  Sure, that almost sounds like it would be easier–aren’t you just taking the last piece you used and cutting one out to fit it?  And they’re all blue, right?  But remember that this puzzle has to be a thousand pieces, that each piece has to fit into another piece without overlapping or leaving any gaps, that people are going to look at and point out to each other every piece that’s a slightly different blue and each piece that isn’t cut just perfectly, and–most importantly–that the very last piece has to complete the puzzle.

If I’m the only writer that ever gets a little frustrated trying to make and piece together this puzzle that, for some unknown and idiotic reason, I decided had to be of clear blue sky, I’d be very much surprised.  I know for a fact there are writers out there who are infinitely better and harder-working than I am.  Surely there are times when they think, “You know, I’d just like to read a book today,” too.

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*I guess if you’re me, though, you want someone to take care of your kid for a while.