Or, “Things That Make Me Paranoid About Pregnancy”
(Presented in no particular order.)
- Enis getting switched at birth with someone else’s baby or kicked out of the nest by a parasite baby like those one birds have. I’ve already begged Josh to keep a marker in his pocket so he can write something on Enis the second the doctor hands him over. Failing that, I’ve also made Josh promise that he’ll follow the staff everywhere if they have to take Enis out of my room for any reason. I’m not raising someone else’s baby.
- Not knowing when labor starts. I’ve heard this fear is fairly common, but I feel like it’s more likely to happen to me.
- Calling my doctor when labor starts. Because one, how can I call if I don’t know? Two, how can I call if I don’t have her number and it’s the middle of the night? Three, I don’t want to ask for her number.
- Forgetting to zip my fly when I don’t have to wear maternity pants anymore. For 9 months I’ve been pulling them down and pulling them up, mission accomplished. This is how habits are formed, people!